arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You've changed since you got that strap on
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
