Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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