I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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