we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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