Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize