Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
