for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
