so explain again why im purple
no
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
