In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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