last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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