i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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