sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
