Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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