And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize