That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
