don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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