I just cut my nipple shaving
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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