Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
