Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
