So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
