he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Randomize
