Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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