Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize