he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Even my vagina gasped.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
