How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
