I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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