I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My feet surprised me
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