I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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