I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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