I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
