I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
