i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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