And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
