Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
