Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
