I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
