she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
