We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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