He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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