Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
