I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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