Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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