I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
