i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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