if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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