Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
