Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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