left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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