from now on my penis is your penis
we made out on top of his cat.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
