Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
