gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
