your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
