It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Mom said you looked used
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
