Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize