Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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