my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize