I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize