dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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